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Tuesday, 16 October 2012

Happy endings only happen in the movies: 143 Reasons to Love Film

I've always loved films, and where many people can define periods of their life by the sort of music they were listening to at the time, my life is broken into films. Watching Ghostbusters instantly transports me to around the age of five, whereas The Jungle Book and Tron will forever be linked in my mind because they were both taped off the telly on the same video, circa 1989. Gremlins fills me with the same sense of giddy, naughty joy that it did when I was seven. Later, The Matrix defined my adolescence, and as philosophically simplistic as that film may seem now, it was in many ways an instrumental part of my formative years. High Fidelity has become a great friend when loneliness and heartache have set in, and despite never having watched it with them, It's a Wonderful Life reminds me of my grandparents. It's my birthday at the end of this month, so dear reader, I hope you'll forgive me whilst I indulge myself with a lengthy, sentimental and rambling list of some the reasons that I love films, in a format that I have stolen wholesale from here. Enjoy:



I love films because it just popped in there.

Because I'm fuzzy on the whole good / bad thing.

Because after nineteen films, the shark still looks fake.

Because Back to the Future: Part III ends on the day that I was born.

Because it can shoot the fleas off a dog's back at three hundred yards, and it's pointed straight at your head.

Because the original title of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly was The Two Magnificent Tramps. 

Because you're the son of a thousand whores.

Because this coffee is good, like my mother used to make it. Hot, and strong, and good.

Because you can talk, but can you play?


Because of Rocky.

Because Rocky IV is the most successful sports film ever made.

Because the training montage in Rocky Balboa elicited spontaneous unanimous applause from the cinema audience when I saw it with a friend.

Because Rocky III is the one of the funniest films I've ever seen, and openly laughing at it once got me in loads of trouble with someone.


Because when I slap you you'll take it and like it.

Because it's the stuff dreams are made of.

Because even Raymond Chandler didn't know who the killer was.

Because every one of you listening to my voice, tell the world, tell this to everybody where ever they are: watch the skies! Keep looking! Keep watching the skies!

Because It's Alive!


Because I hate being right all the time.

Because it wasn't the planes that did it. It was beauty killed the beast.

Because it's not the years, honey, it's the mileage.

Because it's too bad she won't live. But then again, who does?

Because she was giving me a look I could feel in my hip pocket.

Because Harry Callahan doesn't break cases, he smashes them.





Because of Harry Callahan's silhouette on the bridge.

Because of Indiana Jones' silhouette in the doorway of Marianne's bar.

Because of Batman's silhouette anywhere.

Because I'm Batman.

Because I'm Spiderman.

Because I believe in Harvey Dent.

Because the Joker won.

Because some days you just can't get rid of a bomb.

Because of smiling at the camera.

Because of John Williams.


Because of silence.

Because of chiaroscuro.

Because of the cuckoo clock.

Because of technicolour.

Because of Alfred Hitchcock.

Because of dream sequences.





Because of the Coen Brothers

Because this isn't 'Nam dude, this is bowling. There are rules.

Because it's y'know, for kids.

Because of Frank Capra.

Because only people of a certain disposition worry about dying alone at the age of twenty six. We were of that disposition.

Because no man is a failure who has friends.


Because I believe in America.

Because America isn't a country: it's a business. Now fucking pay me.

Because of a closing door.

Because ever since I can remember I've wanted to be a gangster.

Because we ran everything. We paid off cops, we paid off lawyers, we paid off judges. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. And now it's all over. And that's the hardest part. Today everything is different, there's no action; I have to wait around like everyone else. Can't even get decent food. Right after I got here, I ordered some spaghetti with marinara sauce, and I got egg noodles and ketchup. I'm an average nobody; I get to live the rest of my life like a schnook.


Because of Martin Scorsese.

Because of Steven Spielberg.

Because of Sergio Leone.

Because of John Carpenter.

Because of Richard Marquand.

Because Luke almost loses it.

Because of Irvin Kershner.

Because I know.

Because of George Lucas before he lost it.

Because of Howard Hawks.

Because of John Ford.

Because of David Lean.


Because they're coming to get you, Barbara.

Because of Hollywood in the 1970s.

Because of Warner Brothers studios in the 1930s and 40s.

Because of the Universal Horror cycle in the 1930s and 40s.

Because of James Whale.

Because of Boris Karloff.

Because of Bela Lugosi.

Because I never drink wine.

Because of Hammer studios.

Because Dracula is Dead and Well and Living in London.

Because I'm twelve, more or less.




Because of Sean Connery.

Because of George Lazenby.

Because Nobody Does it Better.

Because of Matt Damon.

Because of Paul Greengrass.

Because of Daniel Craig.

Because of Michael Fassbender.


Because of Bill Murray's smirk.

Because of Paul Newman's eyes.

Because of Lauren Bacall's voice.

Because of James Stewart's voice.

Because of Al Pacino's loud voice.

Because Robert De Niro doesn't need a loud voice.

Because of Jack Nicholson's mischief.

Because of James Cagney's delivery.

Because of Anne Bancroft's smoulder.

Because of Bruce Lee's discipline.

Because of Humphrey Bogart.


Because of Disney.

Because of the Disney renaissance.

Because of Ghibli.

Because of Pixar.

Because authority should derive from the consent of the governed, not from the threat of force.

Because of holding hands with no dialogue.


Because of 28 Weeks Later.

Because of Let the Right One In.

Because of The Secrets in their Eyes.

Because of The Artist.

Because of Changeling.


Because of Dumbo.

Because of pink elephants.

Because of Tron.

Because Tron still looks amazing.

Because of The Jungle Book.

Because of the bare necessities.

Because of Pete's Dragon.

Because of Raggedy Ann and Andy.

Because of The Land Before Time.





Because of trying never to hate a movie, even Paul WS Anderson ones.

Because I still hate Lord of the Rings out of all reasonable proportion.

Because if you don't like Back to The Future, you probably don't like films.

Because of the Bechdel Test.

Because of the Hays Code.

Because of Great American Cinema.

Because of British films.

Because of forgetting that you're reading subtitles.

Because it's worth paying to see re-releases even though I've got the DVD at home.



Because of a beautiful friendship.

Because of stuff that she likes.

Because I agree with the second part.

Because I'm on top of the world, ma!

Because the world is yours.

Because James Bond will return.

Because Optimus Prime will return.

Because of The End...?

Because life moves pretty fast.



Because of smuggling in Pick and Mix.

Because of Pearl & Dean.

Because of turning my phone off.

Because of the trailers.

Because of the BBFC certificate.

Because of the lights going down.

Because of the curtains going back.

Because of feeling weird when it's still daylight outside.


Because of going when I'm on holiday.

Because of going with people.

Because of going by myself.

Because being a Ghostbuster still seems like the coolest job in the world.

I could probably go on, but you get the idea.

1 comment:

  1. Because only people of a certain disposition worry about dying alone at the age of twenty six. We were of that disposition.

    Amazing post, loved all of it and anything I didnt recognize I'm googling to find out what it is so I can watch it.

    Thanks for writing this, you inspire me to one day get the confidence to put my writing out there, until then I will read yours and enjoy all that excitement for films, for the moving image and all the wonderful stories in the world.

    ReplyDelete